KattyCat, meeting the parents.

I've discovered a new best thing ever this Christmas: grandparents.
Not my own - i mean, come on, cats' families don't usually stay in touch... no, i mean, my human grandparents !
You see, i'm not really keen on visitors, but those ones wouldn't leave the flat, so after a few days, i had to make do with the fact that they may become a permanent fixture on the sofa.
And that's when it happened: i realised they wanted to communicate with me.
And to play.
I mean, whoever decides to move a string is immediately my friend. Obviously. But usually, within 5 minutes, it's all over and something more interesting is catching my new friend's attention.
But those grandparents - they're made of patience.
HOURS.
Yes, literally hours of play.
With the same string, gently moved, hidden moved again.
I love my grandparents.
I hope they never ever leave.
And if they do, maybe i could move in with them ?
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KattyCat, alarm clock.

I don't know what's wrong with my humans, but they don't seem to understand that, with the sun rising, breakfast should appear in my bowl.
I mean, i've tried everything.
The "help-me please help-me i'm dying boo hoo" meow from the corridor, the jumping up the bed - down the bed - up the bed - down the bed, the lying on mummy's tummy until her back aches, the "look at me i'm so cute" position, paws up and belly available, even the sad puppy eyes, or the offended-cat-who-won't-look-at-you look.
EVERYTHING.
Yet, they take for ever to wake-up AND get up, every single morning.
I mean, what's wrong with them ?
Do they not know that their main purpose in life is to feed me ? (And belly-rub me. And catnip me. Well, you know, the satisfying-my-primary-needs duty.)
You would have assumed that humans, who see themselves as the optimal product of millions of years of evolution, would have by now understood that MORNING = BREAKFAST.
Shame my humans seem to have inherited the strange and rather annoying MORNING = LET ME SLEEP 5 MORE MINUTES PLEASE mutation.
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KattyCat, radiator-bathing.

In the summer, i'm like a sunflower.
I follow the sun, slowly moving my way up the sofa, from one arm to the other, over the course of the afternoon.
But obviously, it's winter time now.
The sun is being very shy, and the sofa is freezing. Well, unless i can find a lap or two that is.
But i've discovered the best thing ever: radiator-bathing.
First, you have to choose a radiator with a comfy spot - the living-room one rates a bit low, i'm not a big fan of the floorboards. Same with the spare-room radiator: too much mess there.
My favourite one is in my humans' bedroom. I don't know if they've noticed, but they've left a really soft woolly jumper just there, and it's a bit like cat-heaven. But better.
Second, you have to be in a sleepy mood. OK, that's quite an easy one, especially for a wintering wee cat like me. I'd hibernate if i could.
Finally, you have to jam yourself underneath the said raidator, and lie down on your back, belly and paws facing the heat.
Now let the humans give you a belly rub from time to time, encourage them with a few eye blinks, and you're set for the best Christmas ever. Bliss.
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KattyCat, flower power.

Sometimes, i don't understand my humans.
Here they are, happy, chatting nicely on the sofa, with 2 pairs of legs to jump on, 4 hands to stroke me (2 on my head and one on my belly), and the world seems perfect.
Yet suddenly, they start to argue.
It's not like there was a storm in the living room. Lightning and thunder and all of that.
It's usually more subtle.
Like electricity in the air.
The kind that makes you want to hide under a chair.
It's such a shame.
But i've learnt now, i know not to run away.
I'm the rainbow, the peacemaker, the cute silly cat that's going to break the tension.
I just need to roll on my back, 4 paws up, and they can't help but laughing at me. Well, with me. Except i'm not laughing. Well, you know.
That made me think.
What if it became compulsory to have a cat ?
Could we bring peace on earth by just being cute ?
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KattyCat, lolcat.

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KattyCat, string-philiac

Apart from my humans, catnip, and rubber bands, there's nothing better than a piece of string.
Seriously, they're irresistible.
I'm not quite sure why they sometime don't move - often during the day, when nobody's home, i stare at my yellow string, and nothing happens.
But when my humans come back home, something magic happens: the yellow string comes to life. Up and down, in circles, it appears and disappears between the floorboards. It drives me crazy. You should see the mess in my whiskers.
Hold on - my whiskers, they DO look like strings... should i try to catch them ?
How do you catch your whiskers ?
Is it like catching your tail ?
Oh boy, i've got to practice.
I'd better nap first... any free lap on the sofa ?
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KattyCat's top 5

1 - Daddy. My favourite human EVER. He says he's a "dog person". Right ! I don't think so. He's the best thing to sit on (his belly is THE perfect head rest), and he's always getting up in the morning to give me food. I'm telling you, i have him COMPLETELY under the paw !
2 - Catnip. OMG, CATNIP IS SO YUMMY !!!
3 - Mummy. The thing is, mummy's a bit needy. Always up for a cuddle, a play, a scratch, a little nap. I mean, obviously it's great, she's always there whenever i want her. But she's also there when i want a quiet sleep on my own, and that can be a bummer. But mind you, she went away for a whole week some time ago, as she had to visit some relative. Well, that wasn't fun. AT ALL. So there, mummy may be annoying, she's still my 2nd favouritest human ever !
4 - Rubber bands. Hair bands. Anything stringy and bouncy at the same time. I love it when they're thrown. I run, run, run... and sniff'em. And wait. If my humans hope that i'm going to fetch, they have another thought coming. But could you throw it again, please, pretty please ?
5 - Strings. Any kind, well, as long as it's the moving kind. One day i'll catch ALL the strings in the world. ALL OF THEM !
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KattyCat, PhD

It's official, both my humans are now Dr.
So here you go, they had to do the silly thing of changing my title.
"Dr Katty, PhD in cuteness studies, from the University of mummy and daddy".
Right.
Could someone let them know that, as PhDs, they're probably supposed to have a high IQ and some common sense ? I love my humans, but gosh, they ARE embarassing sometimes...