KattyCat should know better than to say: "Fontaine, je ne boirai pas de ton eau".

I've been given this strange thing today. Weird. They've put it next to my water bowl. I'm not sure what i'm supposed to do with it - it's rather noisy and there seem to be water flowing through it. I don't like water. I'm scared of water. Well, except the water that's in my water bowl, of course.
I heard mummy say something like "come on chachat, try your water fountain!" I have no idea what she was on about. I mean, is she really thinking that i'm going to drink from SOMETHING ELSE than my water bowl ? I mean, come on, i love to see my humans slaving away mornings and evenings, neatly cleaning my bowl, and filling it with fresh water. Why would i need something that doesn't require any human's help twice a day ?
I mean, my humans are ALWAYS at hand twice a day.
Well, i guess if they were planning to go away for a short time, that'd be different.
But don't be ridiculous, surely they're not going away. Surely they're not planning a week-end without me - surely not. Come on. I've raised them better, they wouldn't dare.
So there remains my question: why the silly plastic noisy watery thing ?
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KattyCat, neighbourhood watching.

I got this for Christmas.
A bird feeder.
You see, i live on the 3rd floor, so i can see the birds nesting in the trees, or feeding from the backgarden. But they don't come near me.
Oh, i'm not shortsighted - i can observe quite well from my high tower.
Still, birds just behind my window, i have to say that my humans had a brilliant idea there.
So far, not so much has happened - the grand-parents spotted a couple of blue tits when they slept in MY playroom the other week, but i haven't been that lucky.
But i'm waiting.
It's been snowing again, they're bound to want my food.
They're bound to come to me.
In the meantime, a squirrel is building a nest in the big tree, and it's quite a thrill.
Seriously, i love day-time TV.
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KattyCat loves GrandPa.

The grandparents are back for the week-end.
It's christmas all over again.
And i'm the baby jesus, the christmas tree, the wonder, the centre of all the conversations.
I'm not sure there's anything better than being a grandcat.

KattyCat & her personal trainers

Well, once again, i'm puzzled by my humans.
I mean, no more than a week ago, they were concerned that maybe my tummy was a bit too large. (maybe). And they've started to use the string more than usual, to get me moving.
I thought that was all good.
So good indeed, that my exercise sessions are the new best thing on earth ever.
I can't get enough.
And here they are, all concerned that i don't run to my food when they're back at night, or that i don't seem to care for catnip in the morning, or that i don't even want to jump on the sofa at any time (even when daddy's busy with his laptop - that's usually my clue to go and climb all over him).
No, all i do is standing by my bedroom door and meow for more play.
And more.
And more again.
I just want to chase the string.
What's the problem with that, i thought i was being a dutiful good cat !
Seriously, those humans, they're so queer !
(and i've seen mummy shuffling some old toys to grab that silly panic mouse she bought last Chritmas - well, i say, i do not care for exercise without a personal trainer, and will REFUSE to play with the panic mouse. Just like i did for months last winter. Who's ever heard of a cat without a personal trainer ?!)
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KattyCat, getting self-conscious.

More and more people are commenting on my belly.
It seems that perhaps, there is a possibility that i may have put on a little bit of weight in the last year.
Hm, not much.
I mean, humans, think of it, when you put on a kilo, you don't over-react, do you ? It's not the end of the world, is it ?
So, why should i worry ?
Just for a little wee small and insignifiant kilo ?
I know the vet said that if i was continuing to "grow", i would probably have to go on a diet. I know.
But, is it my fault if my humans are often too busy to move a string ?
I mean, i do not want a diet: i want a daily work-out ! With string, hair-bands and christmas balls !
More food, more play !!
(if my humans read this - especially my daddy - could you please help with the moving-the-string part ? Those "belly" comments need to stop - it's never good for a girl's self-image. Thanks !)
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KattyCat, upside down.

This is an example of the radiator bathing technique.
Mummy's working from home today as she's waiting for a parcel, so the heating is on and is powerful - a real treat !
Instead of trying to learn to turn the heating on by myself, maybe i could find a way to make one of my humans stay home every single day ? Cuddles + heat, that'd be a winner !
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KattyCat & the invisible mouse.

There's a mouse under the floorboards.
I can hear it.
I can smell it.
I can almost see it moving.
I know my humans think i'm being silly, staring at the floor for hours, ears pointing towards a spot then another.
But let me tell you, after over a year of silent and perpetual watching, i caught a mouse. That was a couple of months ago.
A wee black mouse.
The silly thing didn't survive the encounter, so i've been told. It seems that real mice are more fragile than toy mice... oh well, how was i to know ?? It was my first ever catch !
And ever since, i've been even more vigilant.
I know there's another mouse.
Just under my nose, below the floorboards.
I'll wait for you Mouse, i'll never stop my watch.
One day, yes one day, i'll get you.
(or your sister)
(or your friend)
(or just your tail)
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KattyCat's new year's goals

I've been told i'm supposed to take new year's resolutions. Like becoming a better cat or giving-up catnip. As if i wasn't the perfect cat already.
But thinking of it, although i AM the perfect cat, i don't have the perfect life (yet).
So here are my 10 goals for the year to come:
1. Catch the string in 2010. Once and for all.
2. Get my humans to get up in the morning. May need to design new strategy.
3. (Pretend to) learn to fetch.
4. Avoid vet at all costs.
5. Find way to paralyse my humans when they sleep. Tossing and turning mean that i can't sleep on their belly all night long. This has to change.
6. Learn french. Well, maybe. I already understand "chachat" and "ma Katty" - do i need anything else to understand Mummy ?
7. Learn to turn the heating on when my humans are away.
8. Learn to open windows when my humans are away (not in the winter though, this one can wait for the summer).
9. Catch more moths than last year. And maybe another mouse.
10. Get my grandparents to move in forever.
If i can achieve at least #4 in 2010, i think i will call my life perfect.
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KattyCat, meeting the parents.

I've discovered a new best thing ever this Christmas: grandparents.
Not my own - i mean, come on, cats' families don't usually stay in touch... no, i mean, my human grandparents !
You see, i'm not really keen on visitors, but those ones wouldn't leave the flat, so after a few days, i had to make do with the fact that they may become a permanent fixture on the sofa.
And that's when it happened: i realised they wanted to communicate with me.
And to play.
I mean, whoever decides to move a string is immediately my friend. Obviously. But usually, within 5 minutes, it's all over and something more interesting is catching my new friend's attention.
But those grandparents - they're made of patience.
HOURS.
Yes, literally hours of play.
With the same string, gently moved, hidden moved again.
I love my grandparents.
I hope they never ever leave.
And if they do, maybe i could move in with them ?
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KattyCat, alarm clock.

I don't know what's wrong with my humans, but they don't seem to understand that, with the sun rising, breakfast should appear in my bowl.
I mean, i've tried everything.
The "help-me please help-me i'm dying boo hoo" meow from the corridor, the jumping up the bed - down the bed - up the bed - down the bed, the lying on mummy's tummy until her back aches, the "look at me i'm so cute" position, paws up and belly available, even the sad puppy eyes, or the offended-cat-who-won't-look-at-you look.
EVERYTHING.
Yet, they take for ever to wake-up AND get up, every single morning.
I mean, what's wrong with them ?
Do they not know that their main purpose in life is to feed me ? (And belly-rub me. And catnip me. Well, you know, the satisfying-my-primary-needs duty.)
You would have assumed that humans, who see themselves as the optimal product of millions of years of evolution, would have by now understood that MORNING = BREAKFAST.
Shame my humans seem to have inherited the strange and rather annoying MORNING = LET ME SLEEP 5 MORE MINUTES PLEASE mutation.
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